tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2973950315347713190.post7002983288812912381..comments2018-02-05T11:49:25.528-06:00Comments on Stella's journey: What I WantSSpindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15822089857475715635noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2973950315347713190.post-15723720533190275492011-06-20T15:57:06.867-05:002011-06-20T15:57:06.867-05:00Shanna, we've met through very difficult and o...Shanna, we've met through very difficult and odd circumstance, but it's because of those situations we share so much of the same emotions and struggles. Though I've never met you, I feel great compassion, love and pain for you! I can easily relate to everything you've expressed and truly understand the daily challenges of living again. Not just existing, but really living each day to the fullest. I don't know how, or if ever, I'll get that back or I would happily give it to you!<br /><br />I do know talking to other Baby Loss Mommas makes me a feel a little bit better because I know they understand. Through the Perinatal Grief Support Group we attend twice a month I've connected face to face with these parents and I've found parents who are much further (times wise) along in their grief process. Their perspective helps me see that even though life will never be the way I envisioned and hoped, I can survive. Even though they lost their daughters 3 years ago, they are still in pain, have emotional triggers and lack the family and friend support they need and that makes me even sadder and angrier knowing things will never get better. All I can do is be there for them like they are trying to do for me and hope that we can all help to lift each other up out of the pain and darkness, so we can learn to live again.<br /><br />I know our children wouldn't want us to suffer, just like we wouldn't want that for them. If our children where here they would want to see us giggle and smile with them, so for my Stella I will continue to try to find ways to make that happen even if I don't really feel like I have it in me. Our Stellas want us to live life to the fullest, love deeply and share our smiles and stories with the World!Shelby ... Stella's Mommahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00057704319751626484noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2973950315347713190.post-70696097672031607432011-06-20T11:27:29.305-05:002011-06-20T11:27:29.305-05:00Shanna,
i understand u need some1 and understand ...Shanna,<br /> i understand u need some1 and understand what u want and why u are 1 in a million so brave 2 speak about ur loss god alway's takes the ones we love and it will alway's be hard if we could turn back the hands of time then i would do it because u deserve the chance 2 be the mum u have alway's wanted to be my love is with u girl bless ur heart and soul girl. <br />love kirsty xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxkirsty jeffreyhttp://www.facebook.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2973950315347713190.post-79788079132606320972011-06-18T21:13:37.842-05:002011-06-18T21:13:37.842-05:00My beautifull daughter i would give my life to hav...My beautifull daughter i would give my life to have Stella back and you all have yor family together. You don't know how much I also muss her. She was the most beautifull girl I ever saw. I wish I lived closer so I could hold you like when you were a little girl and you were sad and afraid. I know all the words I or anyone says can not take away the pain. You know I'm here for you and If you want and need me please I will move down in a sec if you know I can help. I love and miss you all so very much. My love and prayers are with you all.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2973950315347713190.post-9539401599699202042011-06-18T20:40:14.592-05:002011-06-18T20:40:14.592-05:00I sit here, crying with you. We all needed to be r...I sit here, crying with you. We all needed to be reminded, Shanna. I am grateful that you are reaching out. I wish all the things for you that you want, and it hurts that you can't have them. I know that you will never be the same person. In ways, unimaginable to those who have never lost a child, you have been forever changed. I cannot imagine your pain, the void left in Stella's absence. And as hopelessly human as I am, I am terrified to try to imagine it. All I can do is be here for you when you do reach out. As far as not wanting to be alive? There is a huge difference in existing and living. I understand what you meant. You know, your need for remembering the details? It is fine. It keeps it real for you...to embrace the moments of her life. It keeps it all alive, and real. And when you are ready to let a little of it slip, you will know...maybe you never will. And that will be okay too. No one else can tell you about the steps of the grieving process. We are all different, and your loss, in my opinion, is the toughest loss any of us can ever know. When the universe is working just right, our children bury us--as elderly parents. But...to lose a child? Stella took things with her when she left, and in the place of the things that are gone, other things were left. Like a fear that the world will never be wonderful again, and emptiness, and fear of risking that pain again, and maybe even guilt that someday you will embrace a world full of joy and happiness without her. I wish I had a magic wand. She would be here with you right now...and I would get to meet her when you visit, and I would have smiled at the pretty baby-girl things at your shower. But, no magic wand, just my shoulder to offer, and hugs. Time never truly heals, I have come to realize. It just softens the edges of the hurt, dulls the pain, and teaches us how to live without the people we have loved and lost, by not thinking about them every moment of everyday. Love you and your dear hubs. :-)Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2973950315347713190.post-47991090104860327672011-06-18T20:37:04.227-05:002011-06-18T20:37:04.227-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2973950315347713190.post-2077937580177169002011-06-18T18:44:49.262-05:002011-06-18T18:44:49.262-05:00Shanna,
You are very brave as the previous lady s...Shanna,<br /><br />You are very brave as the previous lady said! I am glad that you have a great support system around you. I know you said you cant read books right now but, maybe when you are able toagain you can try a book that really helped me in my darkest hours. My preacher at the time gave me when I lost my pregnancy years ago "Born too soon". It dosnt make it better but it helped get me to a better place if that makes sense. <br /><br />You are in my prayers,<br /><br />Nichole BanksAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2973950315347713190.post-51882170115297609552011-06-18T10:54:29.556-05:002011-06-18T10:54:29.556-05:00Shanna,
Have you joined a support group of paren...Shanna,<br /> Have you joined a support group of parents who have lost premature infants? Only they would be able to really understand your particular pain and grief. Love, JudyJudy Spindanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2973950315347713190.post-69213861794263468232011-06-17T23:40:38.573-05:002011-06-17T23:40:38.573-05:00Shanna, you are so brave! I love you! I"m so ...Shanna, you are so brave! I love you! I"m so sorry for all you've been through the last few months. I want all these things for you too.<br /><br />Holly StraussAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com