We are the Spinda family (John, Shanna & Stella Mae) from Murray, KY... on February 1, 2011 at 10:27am our beautiful baby girl, Stella Mae Spinda, was born at 26 weeks gestation. She weighed 12.34 oz and was 9 in long - Stella suffered from Intrauterin Growth Restriction (IUGR) which caused both her extremely small size and her being born premature. Stella spent five days in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) at Norton/Kosair Hospital in Louisville, KY. She passed away late on February 5, 2011 from complications of her extremely small size. This blog was started when she was 23 gestational weeks old and we discovered her condition. It's original purpose was to keep family and friends updated on Stella's journey - we now hope to use this blog as a way to continue Stella's journey by honoring her memory and also as a way to support others who are struggling with infertility or have lost a pregnancy or baby.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Gotcha Day!

We were in the car and on our way to meet and pick up our girl! Nervous excitement was coursing through my veins. I was texting and texting and texting everyone I knew. My phone was having a difficult time handling all of the incoming texts and calls. About an hour into our 2  1/2 hour drive I got a call from Rita (the director of Catholic Charities). She didn't sound very good and I was instantly panicked. She explained that Sophia's grandparents had showed up at her bio parents' house, blocked them in with their car and were causing a scene on the front lawn. Rita continued by saying that the police were called and that her bio parents were requesting for her to come over to help deal with the situation. She assured me that they still very much wanted John and I to take Sophia home. Rita told us to continue on to the church that we met at just two days prior and that she would call if anything changed. We continued the drive feeling a little hesitant but also optimistic. When we finally pulled up to the church we saw Sophia's bio parents getting out of their car. I immediately knew that everything was going to be okay! I jumped out of the car (I think before it was even fully stopped) and ran to their car. Sophia's bio mom looked awful - her eyes were red and swollen and she just looked like she had been through hell. I gave her a big hug and asked if she felt okay. She seemed very appreciative of my care for her. She introduced us to her mom and her sister while Sophia's bio dad was getting her out of the car.  Sophia had a beautiful flowered dress on with a bow in her hair. She looked suspicious of what was going on. We all walked into the church as a group and Rita was there to greet us. Sophia was put on the table in her car seat and her bio dad got her out. He gave her a kiss on her head and handed her to me. It was the most amazing moment. Rita took Soph's bio parents to the other side of the room to fill out paperwork while we had a chance to get to know Sophia. It was a little weird and akward because her bio grandmother and bio aunt continued to sit with us. I felt a little judged and sort of like I just wanted my own time with her. But really it was easy to overlook their presence when I was holding Sophia. I fed her, John had a chance to hold her and then the screaming started.... blood curdling, vein popping, someone's trying to hurt this baby screaming. John and I were trying everything, her bio grandmother was yelling out things to try, and her bio mom looked as if she was about to snap. Rita encouraged John to go to the car and get the Sophia's things that they had brought for us to take. Finally I was alone with my daughter! But the screaming continued. I could feel that her diaper was as heavy as a brick, I wondered if it had been changed all day. Her hair was soaked with sweat. Once John came back in with our diaper bag that we had brought we were able to get her diaper changed, put her in a comfortable onsie, and dab off her face with a wet cloth. John took her and started rocking her... Sophia was asleep within a few minutes. She knew she was finally able to rest.

Rita took a picture of the three of us leaving the church, we put the girl in the backseat, and I climbed back there with her. The three of us were off, headed home! Sophia slept the whole way home. Once we got home I just wanted to hold my child and I made the first mistake as a new mom... I purposely woke a sleeping baby.   : -O   Sophia didn't stop screaming for three hours! Sabrina, Heath, and Kenzie came over to meet Sophia and bring us much needed baby items.  They set up Kenzie's pack n play in our bedroom so Soph could sleep with us, while other neighbors were stopping over to meet the newest Spinda. Later Sabrina brought us dinner. The girl just kept screaming. Finally we got her calm and she slept for 6 1/2 hours the first night with us. Amazing!!

Sophia's first day with us wasn't a full day but it was a day full of LOVE!! She learned very quickly just how loved she is. Sophia is getting bigger and bigger each day, she is becoming more expressive with her emotions, her little personality is slowly become a HUGE personality. Sophia smiles so big each time one of us goes to get her out of her crib. She knows who loves her and she knows who her mommy and daddy are!

1 comment:

  1. Shanna, Thank you so much for sharing this with us. You described so well, an intensely personal experience filled with such a wide range of emotions, that I can almost 'feel' them all myself. Love you all~