We are the Spinda family (John, Shanna & Stella Mae) from Murray, KY... on February 1, 2011 at 10:27am our beautiful baby girl, Stella Mae Spinda, was born at 26 weeks gestation. She weighed 12.34 oz and was 9 in long - Stella suffered from Intrauterin Growth Restriction (IUGR) which caused both her extremely small size and her being born premature. Stella spent five days in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) at Norton/Kosair Hospital in Louisville, KY. She passed away late on February 5, 2011 from complications of her extremely small size. This blog was started when she was 23 gestational weeks old and we discovered her condition. It's original purpose was to keep family and friends updated on Stella's journey - we now hope to use this blog as a way to continue Stella's journey by honoring her memory and also as a way to support others who are struggling with infertility or have lost a pregnancy or baby.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Little Sister ~ Big Sister

Is there a more perfect time to write my post about Sophia's adoption than when I'm feeling so overwhelmed with love for her that I've been crying on and off for the last 1  1/2 hours?

Most everyone know some details but very few know all the details that surround Sophia's adoption and the time leading up to her adoption. If you are one to want to know all the details, keep reading!

John and I had made the decision to start trying to get pregnant again a few months ago. We decided to keep this pretty hush-hush and only tell a few people. Of course we hoped that getting pregnant would be easier this time around but nothing can be guaranteed. We certainly did not want constant questions about our attempts at conception or how we were going to deal with my blood clotting disorders as innocent as they may have been. I started seeing a new fertility specialist (whom I love!), taking fertility meds, and John and I got to work. ;) The first month of medication my blood tests reviled that I ovulated and had an excellent progesterone level. Unfortunately the month did not end with a pregnancy, however my doctor was very optimistic that I would be pregnant within the next few months. While we were, as can be expected, very nervous about my ability to carry a healthy baby we were also very excited at the possibility of becoming parents again.

July 11 - I went to a routine, mid-cycle check up at my OB's office. She is very thorough and had me come into the office about every two weeks. So I'm sitting up on the table in the exam room (pantless) when I get a call. I sort of wiggle off the table while holding that tiny little paper sheet trying to keep the goods covered in case the doctor swung the door open, grabbed my phone and hopped back up onto the table. I was shocked to hear Rita, the director of Catholic Charities on the other end asking to speak to John and I together. I explained that I was at the doctor alone and that we could call her back as soon as I got home. She was kind enough to tell me that she had good news (which I had already guessed) and to call as soon as I was with John. So yes, I had to continue to sit still, waiting for the doctor to come exam my baby maker all the while I was completely loosing my mind. I must have drove about 90mph home and when I walked into the house I found John sort of freaking out on the couch. We called Rita back, put her on speaker and listened as she told us about the couple who had chosen us. She went into detail about the situation, explained that Sophia's biological parents really liked us and that they were expecting this all to happen very quickly. It wasn't until Rita told us Sophia's name that we were sure that God was leading us right to our daughter: Sophia June. Soph's biological parents named her Sophia June - it was God who decided that she belonged to the family who had a daughter with the middle name Mae. Two S names, Mae then June - not something we did on purpose but that God did on purpose.

We set up a meeting day for Saturday, July 14 and had to make it four days without completely freaking out. Of course John and I told some people about our meeting with the biological parents but for the same basic reasons we kept our attempts at pregnancy quiet we decided to keep this meeting pretty quiet. We struggled with how much preparation we should do for bringing a baby home. I went back and forth about washing all the little girl clothes I had for Stella. We ended up trying to focus on just getting through Saturday and no baby clothes were washed in the process.

Saturday came and we drove the 2  1/2 hours to meet Sophia's biological parents. John was wearing his cute new button down shirt and I had on my new dress. We were dressed to impress! We showed up a few minutes early and found ourselves locked out of the building. As soon as I got off the phone with Rita, who assured me that she was less than 10 minutes away, a very nice looking couple got out of their car and started walking toward us. Panic raced through my body as I realized that I was about to meet the biological parents of our daughter. There was no agency representative who would serve as a buffer. This was it - we had to introduce ourselves and strike up a conversation with two people who held our future in their hands.  

The meeting lasted about hour. We hit it off with Sophia's biological parents and we left the meeting with the understanding that they were to call Rita on Sunday with their final decision and a pick-up date for us to come get Sophia. The hitch... Sophia was staying with her biological dad's parents. They had been taking care of her for the past few weeks and had NO idea that adoption was even being considered let alone planned. John and I decided to try and be as optimistic as possible including going to Toy r Us and spending a few hundred dollars. A few more people were let into the loop, however we continued to try and keep everything quiet from the masses. We spent Sunday painting Sophia's room and trying to keep our hands steady from the anxiety we were feeling waiting for the call from Rita. By 4pm we could no longer handle it and we called Rita who assured us that as soon as she had heard from Soph's bio parents she would call us. By 8pm we had completely melted down and were beginning to lose hope. Rita called with the bad news of no news. Sophia's bio parents had not called her and she was reluctant to call them so late. She assured us that she would call them on Monday morning. John and I went to bed praying for peace and guidance.

Monday morning I was awoken by my phone ringing. As I ran around the house trying to find my phone our hope was beginning to be restored. I answered the phone, pressed speaker and jumped back into bed near John as quickly as possible. We both listened as Rita told us that Sophia's parents wanted us to come and pick her up in a few hours!! The meeting with the grandparents lasted over 9 hours on Sunday and left them drained but determined to give their daughter the life they felt they couldn't provide for her. After hanging up with Rita, we leaped out of bed and began what must of looked like two insane people trashing a house but was instead us getting ready to go meet and bring home our new baby girl. Clothes were being thrown everywhere, John tore into the car seat box and got started trying to figure that out, it was a mad house here!! After what seemed like hours we finally got on the road... headed to pick up our DAUGHTER!

Part II Bringing Home the Girl will be posted soon.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for sharing your journey with Sophia so far. She us one lucky little princess to have you both as parents. Love you!!